Old bills

Two friends walk along a street. All of a sudden a robber with a gun in his hand stops them and asks them for all the money they have. The two friends had no choice and started to empty their wallets and pockets. In that chaos, one of the friends gives a $100 bill to the other friend and says:

  • There you go Jim; these are the $100 I owe you for a month.

My wife keeps asking

Two friends are having a conversation:

  • My wife asks me for $200-$300 every day.
  • Wow, why does she need such amount of money? What does she do?
  • I don’t know, I never gave her that amount of money.

Lost wallet

The judge tells the defendant:

  • Sir, it was your duty to report that you have found a lost wallet at the nearest police station!
  • I know your honor, but it was Sunday when I found the wallet and there weren’t any police officers in the station. – The defendant says.
  • Well, why didn’t you report it the next day?
  • But, there wasn’t anything left in the wallet the next day.

It’s cheaper this way

Jack is having a conversation with his best pal Robert:

  • All my credit and debit cards were stolen last week.
  • Oh my God! That’s horrible. Did you report that to the police?
  • No and I am not planning to do that.
  • But, why?
  • Whoever stole them spends way less than my wife.

Honest friends

Two friends are having a chat.

– I’ve found $500 in the street few days ago.

– That’s great! What did you do?

– Nothing, I just went to the nearest police station and reported what I’ve found. What would you do?

– I would lie that I’ve went and left them in the police station, just like you.