Only one bar in town

A drunk man enters a bar and orders a whiskey. The bartender looks at him, sees that he is very drunk and says:

  • Get lost. We don’t serve customers that are too drunk.

The man goes out and returns after 10 minutes and asks for one whiskey.

The bartender once again refuses to serve him a whiskey. After 15 minutes the drunk man comes back once again, approaches the bartender and says:

  • Sorry man, but is there any other bar in the city where you don’t work?

A really drunk man

Some guy got drunk in a bar still he continued drinking until the bar closed. When the lights went out he tried to stand up from the chair but once he stood up on his feet he fell down. He thought that this was logical since he drank so much so he decided to crawl to the front door of the bar to take some fresh air and try to stand up once again. So he did and then he tried once more to stand up but again he failed. Since his home was rather close he decided to crawl there. He tried to stand up in front of his house but failed once again but somehow managed to crawl back to his bed. In the morning his wife started yelling:

  • You were drinking last night right!?
  • Who said that?
  • The bartender from that bar called 15 minutes ago you forgot your wheelchair again…

Whiskey it is

Robert asks his wife Jenny:

Honey, what kind of coffee do you want?
Well I would like a strong coffee but soft at the same time. A coffee that is gentle and a coffee that will turn my world upside down and reveal all the temptations of this world. A coffee that will help me experience new feelings.

Whiskey it is then!

Remember or Forget

Carl looks for advice from the waiter:

  • Waiter, me and my wife are marking our 25th anniversary. Can you recommend us some wine?
  • First of all, I need to know if you are trying to celebrate or are you trying to forget this date.

Unlucky Pirate

A pirate sits in a tavern and drinks room. The owner asks him:

  • Excuse me, but how did you get the wooden leg?
  • One day I was swimming beside the boat when all of a sudden a shark comes and bites off my leg. I am lucky to be alive today.
  • Oh, that’s a horrifying story – the owner replies. But how did you get the hook on your hand.
  • My hand was severed when we attacked another ship.
  • And how did you get the cover on your eye?
  • I was watching a seagull flying right above me when he shat on my eye.
  • I didn’t know that you can lose an eye because of that.
  • You shouldn’t, but it was my first day with the hook on my hand.