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Who do you love more – your mum or your dad?

Tom asks his son:

  • Who do you love more my son? Mum or dad?

Little Jimmy says:

  • I love you both equally!
  • Great! But if your mum goes to Europe and I go to Asia where would you like to go?
  • In Europe – little Jimmy replied.
  • But why son?
  • Because it is a beautiful continent!
  • But what if I go to Europe and your mum goes to Asia?
  • I will go to Asia?
  • Why!? – Tom asks in anger
  • Because in that case I would have seen Europe already.

The patient

Tom goes to the doctor and sees a note on the door saying “First time services cost $20, second time services – $10”.

Tom enters the doctor’s office and says:

  • Good morning doctor, here I am again.

Your wife told me a good joke

Tom meets Dick and excitingly says:

  • Wow, your wife told me such a good joke few days ago I am still laughing…it’s hilarious!

Dick gets a little bit suspicious and says:

  • And when exactly did you see my wife? She didn’t tell me anything about that?

Tom continues with the laughing and says:

  • We met in the bus the other day…but when she told me the joke I fell out of bed. It was a really good joke!

10th Anniversary

Betty tells Tom:

  • I just want to remind you that today is the 10th anniversary of our marriage. Do you have any plans to mark this event?

Tom remains silent.

  • Speak up! Say something!

Tom says:

  • I have already marked this event…with a moment of silence.

Olympic speech

They have decided to let Tom make a speech at the opening ceremony for the Olympic Games. He stands in front of the microphone and starts speaking:

  • O, oo oo!

The whole stadium repeats that.

Tom once again repeats these words.

When he decides to say the same thing for the third time the man standing next to him says:

  • You can skip that part, those are the Olympic circles.

Future father

Tom is late for work as usual and bumps accidentally in his boss in the hall.

  • Why are you late Tom? Is there any reason why you are late for 2 hours?

Tom is thinking for a brief moment and answers:

  • Yes, I will become a father.
  • Well that’s good! Congratulations! When will this happen? – asks the boss.
  • In nine months.

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