To have or not to have

It was Jim’s birthday and his wife Margaret asked him what kind of present does he want for his birthday and Jim said:

  • I want a gun!
  • No. There is no way I am buying you a gun for your birthday.
  • But, I really want a gun.
  • Jim as I said – gun is not an option.
  • But I still want a gun.
  • I’ve said no! Who makes the decisions in this home!?
  • You Margaret…but if I had a gun…

Lost wallet

The judge tells the defendant:

  • Sir, it was your duty to report that you have found a lost wallet at the nearest police station!
  • I know your honor, but it was Sunday when I found the wallet and there weren’t any police officers in the station. – The defendant says.
  • Well, why didn’t you report it the next day?
  • But, there wasn’t anything left in the wallet the next day.

Whiskey it is

Robert asks his wife Jenny:

Honey, what kind of coffee do you want?
Well I would like a strong coffee but soft at the same time. A coffee that is gentle and a coffee that will turn my world upside down and reveal all the temptations of this world. A coffee that will help me experience new feelings.

Whiskey it is then!

Walrus transportation

Two Eskimo brothers did live in a village around 15 miles from the ocean. One day both went to the ocean and caught a walrus. They grabbed the walrus by the tail and started dragging it towards the village. During their walk the walrus teeth kept bouncing from the frozen ground and made the job really difficult. When they’ve passed halfway of their route, already weary and exhausted they saw a white man walking by.

  • Why are you so stupid? Why don’t you just hold the walrus by its teeth and drag him in that way. It’s much easier – the white man said.

They have decided to listen to his advice and after walking for few miles one of the brothers said:

  • That white man was a really smart man. It’s much easier to carry the walrus in this way.

The other one replied in anger:

  • White man is a stupid man. Look we are back to the ocean again.

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