Baby camel asks her mother:
- Mom why do we have a hump?
- We use these humps as reservoirs. They provide us water while we are in the desert.
- And why do we have big eyelashes?
- To protect our eyes from sand found in the desert.
- Why do we have wide hooves?
- To avoid sinking into the sand in the desert.
But mum, what the hell are we doing in the zoo then?
Little Andrew asks his father:
Dad, are ghosts real?
Don’t be silly son. There are no such things like ghosts.
But dad, the maid said that they truly exist…
Pack the bags, we don’t have a maid!
Carl looks for advice from the waiter:
- Waiter, me and my wife are marking our 25th anniversary. Can you recommend us some wine?
First of all, I need to know if you are trying to celebrate or are you trying to forget this date.
Jessica wakes up in the middle of the night, scared and disturbed and she tries to wake her husband:
- Wow, I had such a scary dream and I am still shocked…You know when I was younger and when I had a nightmare I went into my mother’s bed and she soothed and hugged me.
Her husband replies:
You are out of your mind! You want me to drive you to your mother’s house, it’s 3:30 AM for Christ sake!
Jack is having a conversation with his best pal Robert:
- All my credit and debit cards were stolen last week.
- Oh my God! That’s horrible. Did you report that to the police?
- No and I am not planning to do that.
- But, why?
Whoever stole them spends way less than my wife.
A bar owner was so sure that the bartender that works in his bar is the man with the strongest hands in the city that he offered a reward to anyone that can squeeze only one drop of lemon juice after the bartender squeezes it.
People from all over the city were trying to squeeze only one tiny drop of lemon juice without any success. Bodybuilders, handy men, hotshots…everyone tried but no one had a success. One day a short man walks in the bar and accepts the challenge. No one took him seriously because he was small and wore glasses. The bartender squeezed the melon as hard as he could and gave the lemon to the man. He managed to squeeze a total of 6 drops of lemon juice. The bar owner asks the man:
- So, what exactly is your profession? Are you a blacksmith, bricklayer?
Nah, I am a tax collector.